The discomfort brought about when saltwater falls from the eyes of a human being shows up in many ways. The Art of Crying is but just a tear away, although an art lost to so many. There are a few ways this art became lost along the way.
Sometimes this discomfort comes forth as anger, frustration, embarrassment and, most times, discomfort.
These things are taught and drilled in from childhood. For example, the damsel in distress narrative is played in all fairytales. Similarly, ‘only females show emotional awareness narrative, and therefore they need all the saving.’ Thank goodness those are changing now.
Crying is a natural way our bodies realign and bring back balance to the emotional state created by specific experiences.
And crying does not equate to what determines a person’s strength.
Also, crying susceptibility isn’t gender-based!
A few reasons, in my opinion, for how The Art of Crying was suppressed and forgotten
Patriarchal thought patterns and society have told little boys not to cry for ages. As a result, many men are resentfully unaware of their emotional states across the spectrum.
Then little girls were used as the epitome of crying and emotional expression.
Success, survival, and growth in the high-paying corporate and business world are primarily based on emotional suppression qualities and cutthroat traits.
To make it in that world and participate in the advancement of feminism, there was this view that women had to match up. This matching up led to the emotionally suppressed women representative or Tomboy.
A crying survey says that almost half of us cry at work, read more here.
The crying conversation usually comes up within the workspace, going a little like…
Persons crying in the workspace show weakness, some people are too emotional etc. Cutthroat business isn’t for such people…
I mean, really… Would you rather have a room full of large grey clouds with suppressed thunderstorms making decisions for the world where they can break any moment or balanced clear skies which allow some rain now and then for release and growth?
There’s so much more to the art of crying than meets the individual-conditioned perception.
Operating from a physiologically and mentally balanced emotional state allows for optimum decisions via clear connection channels to the prefrontal cortex and back.
Is crying a learned behaviour, or is it innate? Read more here.
If you are human, you have emotions. Emotions are energy in motion in our bodies at any given moment, constantly interpreting our interaction with the world and our inner living system.
Hunger is an emotional state. Suppressing an emotional state is not something we’re new to, though—Diet culture for women regarding food and diet culture for cis men regarding feelings.
(Which is the awareness of emotional states, not some gender disorder.)
Crying is much like relieving yourself. It’s sometimes inconvenient, but if you ‘gotta’ go, you ‘gotta’ go. If you don’t go… Well, I think we all know what can happen there.
Moreover, it is as necessary for the body to function optimally. It allows for pent-up emotional release. Consequently, if emotions define as energy in motion then too much energy results in the inner build-up. As a result, we need healthy ways to release and express that, which does not lead to harming others in any way.
Workspaces are not yet safe enough for the art of crying to be expressed in
In reality, workspaces favour this systemically set narrative; therefore, most companies and the culture they encourage are not safe spaces for healthy emotional expression.
There’s disrespect in how people place expectations on each other, scream at each other, and belittle people who make mistakes in essential tasks. This culture first needs to change within individuals doing the inner self-work.
Furthermore, this will involve relearning and breaking destructive cycles, which are very difficult to reckon with in a system which many perceive works well. That view is most likely because none have experienced better.
A perception birthed from a space of suppressed emotional awareness. Operating from a suppressed emotional understanding also dampens the sharpness of intuition and gut feelings.
These lead to making rash decisions and taking unnecessary uncalculated risks.
In most work cultures, there’s much pent-up emotional debris waiting for the right moment to projectile vomit onto someone else. It is clear from the numerous conversations happening in-person and online about this.
Is it that when you become a professional, you must go to an emotional suppression finishing class or something?
Are we perpetuating this suppression onto the world’s children of today?
Because crying leaves us with so much unresolved conditioned discomfort, we are like anxious messes around someone crying. And we are even worse when a child is crying.
Our survival mode’s first instinct is to make it stop immediately. Because for most of us, the reaction and treatment to our crying in childhood played a part in sending our nervous systems into a panic when any crying occurs.
Not having the sitting with emotional expression modelled for us in childhood, makes it difficult for us to do now. Furthermore, we don’t know how to hold space for a crying child or person to work through that release until the complete expulsion of that pent-up energy. Evidently, that is what it is, just pent-up emotional energy.
We look at how that collected energy stored in our bodies and minds will manifest in us.
Some of the manifestations: are pain, anxiety, anger, frustration, loneliness, sore throat, and so on.
What we continue to do to encourage healthier emotional expression and understanding
So, we have these conversations and share scientific studies about the composition of tears, their benefits to the body, and how healthy communication and respect build better communities. We continue to share how self-care, self-awareness and healing conversations should take place in workspaces from top to bottom. And we talk about how we should create and apply boundaries within those spaces.
We keep encouraging and sharing with the hope that it provides a catalyst for positive change in these harmful systems we’ve played a part in perpetuating. We hope that the art of crying makes an appearance again.
Crying is one single part of emotional expression on the spectrum of emotional states. Yet, it plays a vital role in releasing emotional tension and healing.
The perpetuation of these suppressed emotional cycles, as we’ve experienced, has not been helpful. They encourage and feed into violent behaviour, GBV and continuous toxicity within connected environments, creating a culture that genuinely isn’t serving anyone if we are all brutally honest with ourselves.
(Except for those capitalising on it, of course.)
How are you informing yourself, your life, and your workspace to create healthier environments for all-around emotionally and mentally healthy individuals?
In the comments, I would love to read more about your thoughts on this subject.
Lots of love,